Non-violent communication. Second Part
In the next phase of Nonviolent Communication. Use positive language for requests. Surely if at any time someone makes a request for something in a negative way, no one will want to pay attention and the interlocutor will put up resistance. Sometimes we ask for what we have not asked for. Here is an example that describes the author of the Nonviolent Communication. Marshall B. Rosenberg in his book:
"Frustrated that her husband spent too much time at work, a woman
He recounted in a workshop the result he had obtained with the request he had made: I asked him not to work as hard and he was shot in the butt: three weeks later he told me that he had signed up to participate in a golf tournament » . The woman had made her husband understand what she didn't like - that she spent so much time at work - but instead she hadn't told him what she wanted. When we encouraged her to rephrase her request in another way, she was thoughtful for a moment and then said, "I wish I had told her I'd like her to spend at least one afternoon a week at home with me and the kids!"
"Petitions in clear, positive, concrete language of action reveal what we truly want." Quoted from Marshall B. Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication book.
If you can clearly establish the first part of the CNV, it will be easier for you to express yourself positively in any situation. As described by our Father God. Matthew 7: 7. John 15: 7. When we allow ourselves to be guided by the light of the Holy Spirit, it will be easier for us to express what we want and in a kind and positive way.
Give thanks for the message received and empathy for the message not received.
Sometimes it makes us a little that a certain person receives the message or request from us, trying to clear the doubts and negative responses that we are going to receive, that is why the importance of the first part of the CNV is important. Let us ask for sincerity when communicating and that we are prepared to reach this point, it will be much easier for us to do so.
Let's meditate on this passage that talks about the Holy Spirit. and sheds light on our understanding of this point. Galatians 5:22
According to the author: "Expressing an authentic request also requires that we be aware of what our objective is. If it is only about influencing the person and modifying their behavior, or getting away with it, the CNV is not an adequate tool. The objective of the CNV is to establish a relationship based on sincerity and empathy. ". Marshall Rosenberg
That is why the first part is very important and knowing how to act with integrity in the face of the situation and objectively. Almost in most cases requests are expressed as orders and not as requests for something that needs to be done, and in the case of Parents, Teachers, Bosses, Entrepreneurs, Community Leaders. Knowing how to communicate with empathy and not as an order is the key, but it does not remain alone in it, it goes far beyond a simple request is a convergence that is established between both parties, especially the value of listening.
Practice empathy. For me this is one of the best descriptions of empathy. Taken from the book: Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication.
"Empathy consists of a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing. The Chinese philosopher Chuang-Tzu stated that true empathy requires listening with the whole being:" Listening simply with the ears is one thing. Listening with the understanding is another But listening with the soul is not limited to a single faculty, to the ear or to the understanding. It requires emptying all the faculties. And when the faculties are empty, it is the whole being that listens. Then what is directly grasped is what you have in front of you, which you never
It could be heard through the ear or understood with the mind.
In our relationship with others, empathy only occurs when we have managed to get rid of all preconceived ideas and all prejudices. Martin Buber, the Austrian-born Israeli philosopher, describes in these words the quality of the presence that life demands of us: “Despite all the similarities, every situation in life, like a newborn child, has a new face that does not it has never appeared and will never appear again. Therefore, it requires a way of acting that cannot be foreseen beforehand. It does not demand anything from another moment lived in the past, but presence, responsibility: it demands of ourselves. "
Empathize a very interesting and important word. If we put it into practice we will achieve a very balanced and harmonious way in communication in any case that we have to work.
Matthew 7:12.
If you have questions or comments, write us and we will be happy to answer you.
"Frustrated that her husband spent too much time at work, a woman
He recounted in a workshop the result he had obtained with the request he had made: I asked him not to work as hard and he was shot in the butt: three weeks later he told me that he had signed up to participate in a golf tournament » . The woman had made her husband understand what she didn't like - that she spent so much time at work - but instead she hadn't told him what she wanted. When we encouraged her to rephrase her request in another way, she was thoughtful for a moment and then said, "I wish I had told her I'd like her to spend at least one afternoon a week at home with me and the kids!"
"Petitions in clear, positive, concrete language of action reveal what we truly want." Quoted from Marshall B. Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication book.
If you can clearly establish the first part of the CNV, it will be easier for you to express yourself positively in any situation. As described by our Father God. Matthew 7: 7. John 15: 7. When we allow ourselves to be guided by the light of the Holy Spirit, it will be easier for us to express what we want and in a kind and positive way.
Give thanks for the message received and empathy for the message not received.
Sometimes it makes us a little that a certain person receives the message or request from us, trying to clear the doubts and negative responses that we are going to receive, that is why the importance of the first part of the CNV is important. Let us ask for sincerity when communicating and that we are prepared to reach this point, it will be much easier for us to do so.
Let's meditate on this passage that talks about the Holy Spirit. and sheds light on our understanding of this point. Galatians 5:22
According to the author: "Expressing an authentic request also requires that we be aware of what our objective is. If it is only about influencing the person and modifying their behavior, or getting away with it, the CNV is not an adequate tool. The objective of the CNV is to establish a relationship based on sincerity and empathy. ". Marshall Rosenberg
That is why the first part is very important and knowing how to act with integrity in the face of the situation and objectively. Almost in most cases requests are expressed as orders and not as requests for something that needs to be done, and in the case of Parents, Teachers, Bosses, Entrepreneurs, Community Leaders. Knowing how to communicate with empathy and not as an order is the key, but it does not remain alone in it, it goes far beyond a simple request is a convergence that is established between both parties, especially the value of listening.
Practice empathy. For me this is one of the best descriptions of empathy. Taken from the book: Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication.
"Empathy consists of a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing. The Chinese philosopher Chuang-Tzu stated that true empathy requires listening with the whole being:" Listening simply with the ears is one thing. Listening with the understanding is another But listening with the soul is not limited to a single faculty, to the ear or to the understanding. It requires emptying all the faculties. And when the faculties are empty, it is the whole being that listens. Then what is directly grasped is what you have in front of you, which you never
It could be heard through the ear or understood with the mind.
In our relationship with others, empathy only occurs when we have managed to get rid of all preconceived ideas and all prejudices. Martin Buber, the Austrian-born Israeli philosopher, describes in these words the quality of the presence that life demands of us: “Despite all the similarities, every situation in life, like a newborn child, has a new face that does not it has never appeared and will never appear again. Therefore, it requires a way of acting that cannot be foreseen beforehand. It does not demand anything from another moment lived in the past, but presence, responsibility: it demands of ourselves. "
Empathize a very interesting and important word. If we put it into practice we will achieve a very balanced and harmonious way in communication in any case that we have to work.
Matthew 7:12.
If you have questions or comments, write us and we will be happy to answer you.
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